Psychic on duty
The Shitty
Psychic Report
Something went wrong today. The universe noticed.
Let it explain itself — for a modest offering.
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$13
One full psychic reading
Instant delivery · Accuracy: vibes-based
Instant delivery · Accuracy: vibes-based
The spirits need more to work with. Please describe your suffering.
Dispatches from the afflicted
"It told me Mercury was in retrograde and my coworker Chad was the problem. Both of those things are true."
— Not an actual customer, Denver
"It said my aura was 'the color of a parking ticket.' I've thought about that every day since."
— Nobody said this, Portland
"The cosmos finally validated me. My therapist has not."
— What a customer would probably say, Brooklyn
For entertainment purposes only · No refunds · The stars are not liable